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Bethel Mennonite Church - Gladys VA

A Conservative Christian Church (and podcast)

Husbands, Wives, Marriage and Responsibilities of Both

October 4, 2020

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1 Peter 3:1-8 – This sermon is from the same passage we looked at a few weeks ago when we talked about adornment. However we’re looking at it from a different angle this morning.

Characteristics of an Excellent Wife

An excellent wife needs to be submissive – Peter suggests that the holy women have understood this from the beginning. Husbands can make it extremely hard for wives to be submissive, but this passage tells us that having a bad husband is not free a wife from her responsibility to submit.

An excellent wife needs to be chaste – Even the husband of Peters wife wasn’t perfect. Peter expects pure conduct, not excuses.

An excellent wife needs to be respectful – Peter isn’t commanding wives to call their husbands lord, but he is asking them to be respectful in language, behavior and how she talks about her husband.

An excellent wife has a gentle and quiet spirit – These attributes need to be on the inside first of all, they come out of the heart of someone who is trusting in God. This is a spiritual trait, not a personality trait. Meek – humble surrender (not timid or cowering). Gentle – mildness and consideration. A woman who is gentle or meek is not quick to argue, she is gentle and thoughtful.

An excellent wife is courageous – What do you think these women were afraid of? There is a new focus, instead of focusing on fear, they focus on God. Daughters of Sarah are also holding on to God’s promises. They don’t let fear keep them from doing good.

Proverbs 31 – The impact that an excellent wife can have on her husband is huge! Whether he is a Christian or not. Husbands who are trying to be obedient to the Bible still need godly wives. Without words, Peter says, you don’t need to be skilled in apologetics and theology. Living for Jesus is a very, very powerful testimony.

Characteristics of an Understanding Husband

Understanding husbands live in an understanding way. You have a spiritual inheritance, you do too. They are not second class citizens, neither is an understanding husband. A praying couple is a powerful thing! When a husband doesn’t live in an understanding way with his wife, their home is going to suffer.

Ephesians 5 – A clueless husband is not going to be a very good one. You need to be aware of what is going on in your wife life. She isn’t the same person that you are. Nourish and cherish her as yourself, to do that you need to be aware of what is going on in her life.

Some hindrances to being an understanding husband. – This is just a few of them, there are plenty of others that aren’t on this list.

  • Assuming everything is fine – We are busy, and maybe aren’t talking much and are assuming everything is fine. Slow down and check in with your wife. Your wife may be assuming that you know what she’s thinking or feeling, but you think everything is fine.
  • Allowing a wall to grow between you and her – Whatever it is, don’t let a wall grow up between you. God wants your marriage to model Christ and the church.
  • Being authoritarian and micromanaging – You don’t need to do this to be a good leader. Spiritual leadership doesn’t require you to be authoritative in managing everything.
  • Wishing she was different – Complaining about these things isn’t helpful. The best way to help your wife is to be the kind of husband you should be! There is a place for constructive criticism, but that goes both ways and should happen in a positive and open way. Focus on your wife good points and honor her!

Related Sermons:


  1. Living Christ Like at Home at Work and in the World
  2. A Picture of Christ and The Church – Merle Burkholder
  3. A Marriage on the Rock
  4. A Gentle Might Under God’s Control
  5. A Mothers Day Message

Filed Under: Galen Yoder, Sunday Morning Message Tagged With: 1 Peter, Ephesians, Proverbs

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