Choosing a Life Long Companion
Jesus says that he will never leave us nor forsake us.
1 Thessalonians 4:1-18
Principles for Choosing
We want to please God in all that we do. We definitely want to have God’s blessing on it.
Purity is a principle for choosing. Many in the world live together before they get married. Biblically it isn’t a good idea. In fact it is a sin.
There is often a desire to deceive or give a false impression to a possible partner. Don’t do it.
God has called us to holiness. Love will endure if you keep it pure.
Engage in courtship under the Holy Spirit. The world does it under the influence of hormones and lust.
With Brotherly love. Sacrificial love, not lust. Honor your parents, your church and Jesus.
How to actually do it
We could ask our parents to do the job for us. Cultures where that is the norm have a lower divorce rate. While we generally don’t do that, we should ask and respect our parents.
The initiative of the young person is the general way we do it. With the direction of the Holy Spirit and some sort of general blessing of the church.
It is important to choose rightly. It depends largely on how you look.
Look to the Lord. Look at yourself. Look at the character qualities of the potential mate.
Look to the Lord
God offers his guidance services. In Psalm we are told to “wait on the Lord,” seeking his wisdom.
Don’t assume that you should get married. The desire for that companionship is normal, but delighting in the Lord should be something that we do firstly.
Christ will supply all of our needs. He wants to be our life companion first of all.
Getting married will not fix your problems. In fact marriage very well may magnify our problems. Not only do we have our problems, when we get married we very well may be adding a whole bunch of other problems.
“It is better to be single and wish to be married than it is to be married and wish we were single.”
Choose God and His will. Choosing a life partner is secondary to choosing God and following His way completely.
Look at Yourself
“In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths… Lean not upon your own understanding…”
It isn’t so much a matter of finding the right person as it is being the right person.
Am I consecrated and victorious? Am I open to God’s leading, whether in marriage or singleness.
Look at the Character of the Potential Mate
Isaac and Sampson were on two opposite ends of the spectrum.
Consider the fruit of the Spirit.
We are to marry only in the Lord. This restricts the field considerably as far as possibilities are concerned.
If we see in the other person patterns of the works of the flesh be very cautious. Look for the fruits of the spirit. If they don’t exist, be very careful.
Even if you are basically in agreement, if there are significant disagreements… proceed with caution.
1 Timothy 3:1-13
Men, be blameless. Live a life that is above reproach. Be serious about your approach to life. Live an orderly life, in appearance, courtesy, driving, etc. Bad habits? Let them not be.
Patience, gentleness, not rash or impulsively foolish. All these things can cause huge problems in marriage if they are not there.
So many people in marriages are in love with themselves.
Look to character qualities.
The ability to keep calm even in the middle of disagreements is super important.
Is all sin under the blood? Is there loyalty to a spiritual church. If they are not loyal to a local church, what makes you think that he will be loyal to you?
To marry a woman for beauty is like buying a house for the paint. It is just on the surface.
Don’t be in a rush. Don’t marry in haste.
Be friends with everyone. Mingle well.
Crushes come and crushes go. Don’t get caught in the cycle of a crush…
The brother should take the initiative.
Girls should avoid flirting. It doesn’t please the Lord. It will make you no true friends. With good guys, flirting will be a “repellant.”
Don’t let your parents push you into a relationship. Parents, don’t push your children.
Use your time profitably.
Don’t separate yourself from your youth group.
Discuss openly beliefs and spiritual “stuff.”
Set decent, high standards. Don’t let them slide.
The devil wishes to be present on your dates. Draw near to God… he will draw near to you.
This sermon – Choosing a Life Long Companion – was originally preached 2014.03.15 by Howard Bean.
This sermon is also part of a series preached at the Bethel Mennonite 2014 Youth Rally. Here is a list of all sermons in this series.
- Ten Lessons from my Youth
- Encouraging Church Loyalty
- Choosing a Life Long Companion
- Failing Successfully
- A Servant Heart